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No Signposts.

by Anne Lister

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1.
Breathing should be the easiest thing First thing we ever learn to do Take a breath from the world outside Relax and let it through. Breathing should be the easiest thing People tell me, and they’re right But I breathe in and I can’t breathe out It’s a long and bitter fight To learn to breathe. And loving should be the easiest thing First emotion we really know And we all learn how to hold on tight But not how to let go. Loving should be the easiest thing People tell me and it’s true So how come there are no simple words To tell us what to do To learn to love. And the hardest time to breathe is when we really need the air And the hardest time to ask for love is when we really care And the hardest time to touch is across the spaces in between And the hardest time to think is when we really need to dream. Touching should be the easiest thing First way we make a mark But it’s easier to move a mountain side Than be sure to touch a heart. Touching should be the easiest thing People tell me and it’s no lie But we all build up our barricades And never work out why We don’t touch.  
2.
Moth 03:05
I flew too close to the candle and I think that my wings are aflame I should never have come so close to you – it seems I won’t leave again. There should be some kind of warning For those of us who fly by night To beware of the cold air of morning And to keep away from the light. Oh the light that it cast out was gentle and I’d been far too long in the cold And all of the dark seemed so lonely and all of your welcome seemed gold. There should be some kind of warning For those of us who fly by night To beware of the cold air of morning And to keep away from the light. And alone outside your window there’s just the pale gleam of far distant stars You could search for heaven for ever – at least you’d be safe where you are. There should be some kind of warning For those of us who fly by night To beware of the cold air of morning And to keep away from the light.
3.
When kings play games, they play with different balls When kings play games, they play with lives And politicians play their juggling games They toss up truth and catch just lies When kings play games they always make the rules When kings play games they play to win And politicians, they’re dangerous meddling fools And others clear up what they begin. When mothers dream, they dream of growing things When children dream, they dream of light When lovers dream they dream of joining things When poets dream they dream of night. When kings play games there’s little laughter there When kings play games they play for real And politicians talk of strategy Hide in their language, forget to feel When kings play games they don’t play give but take And politicians, they’re just the same There’s no compassion, there’s no for fairness sake ‘Cos after all they’ll say it’s just a game. When mothers speak they talk of reaching out When children speak they talk of fun When lovers speak they talk of gentleness When poets speak we see the sun. And now it’s time to play some different songs And now it’s time to say what’s true To know that there could be some clear rights and wrongs When children learn, they learn from you. We’ll leave the kings in their palaces And politicians in their halls And those of us who speak more loving languages We’ll play a new game now, with different balls. When mothers dream they dream of growing things When children speak they talk of fun When lovers dream they dream of joining things When poets speak we see the sun.
4.
Message Home 03:22
Take the message home, tell them that I can’t come back yet Take the message home, say I’m walking on my way. Obstacles I’ve found, and people that I’ve met Are all trying their best to persuade me to stay. And soaring high above there’s an eagle in motion Soaring high above like a soul alone I should trust in love like the tides of the ocean To carry me safe back home. Take the message home – there are lessons I’m learning Take the message home – I’m finding some to teach The road travels on like a spiral keeps turning I can see the gate but it’s not yet in reach. And soaring high above there’s an eagle in motion Soaring high above like a soul alone I should trust in love like the tides of the ocean To carry me safe back home. Take the message home – I’m homesick and dreaming Take the message home – I still can’t turn round The thread guides my path like a cloth that we’re weaving I’ll follow it through till I stand on home ground. And soaring high above there’s my soul in motion Soaring high above like an eagle on the wing I should flow with love like the tides of the ocean And peace is the song I sing.
5.
What was her mother thinking of? To send a small girl half way through the forest where there could be wolves? What was her mother thinking of? Didn’t she think about the danger, Didn’t she warn about talking to strangers Didn’t she know that little girls always stray along the way? What was her mother thinking of? To leave an old woman in the middle of a forest where there could be wolves? What was her mother thinking of? To leave the grandmother on her own in that little log cabin that she called home Didn’t she even think a way ahead and go instead? And grandmother, what bright eyes you have Grandmother, what red lips you have And grandmother what a fine hairy chest you have Maybe I’ll slip in bed with you instead. What was my mother thinking of? Now that I’ve come half way through the forest and I’ve met wolves What was my mother thinking of? Didn’t she know on a bright spring morning I’d forget her careful warnings And I’d take a step or two too far And be lured by a wolf in a bright shiny leather-seated E-type car? And grandmother…. Do you think we should blame the wolf? Forced to live in the middle of a forest and act like a wolf Do you think we should blame the wolf? Lured by a little girl smiling so sweet and pulled by the scent of fresh young meat Every bit of social conditioning said he would Attack, seduce, devour and rape women – and little Red Riding Hood.  
6.
She wasn’t invited to the christening, but still she thought she’d go Taking her own present for the child. And the others travelled in sunlight, but her journey was ice and snow And when she reached the feast her eyes were wild. The others gave the girl gifts of beauty and of love All the things a princess shows to the world But the uninvited guest gave her anger in a velvet glove And they wondered what use that was for a girl. As the girl grew older, she lived life in a dream Seeing love in every young man’s face and hands And her godmother watched discreetly and stayed clear of the scene And tried to find a lesson she’d understand. She sat at a spindle, spinning a silken thread Which the young girl picked up carelessly one day The needle pricked her finger and she fell down as if dead And her godmother froze the action on the play. She whispered very secretly into the young girl’s ear And gave her the common sense she’d need in life. How beauty may be wonderful but some kinds disappear And certain kinds of love fade overnight But anger gives us energy, and how we should beware For silken threads can hide a cruel pain And how there are many ways for us to show we care But smothering with kindness is no gain. Through the briar forests the young men hacked their way But the thorns blocked their swords and turned the blades Until one came at last who sighed without dismay Stepped in naked, defenceless and unafraid. The forest split before him, the castle door stood wide The girl woke as he walked in through the door And as the later years went by they worked side by side And nothing was ever quite the way it was before. She wasn’t invited to the christening or welcomed to the feast The gift she brought was almost thrown away But I’ve often learnt the most from the lesson I’ve liked least The one that came in an unexpected way. Anger in a velvet glove is a treasure fit for queens A gift to truly celebrate in song Sometimes the wisest council has been whispered me in dreams Only naked and defenceless hearts are strong.
7.
Naughty Girl 03:27
Her father said “You’re a naughty girl, telling everybody such lies” Her father said “You’re a naughty girl, people can see it in your eyes” Her father said “You’re a naughty girl, and if you tell another soul you’ll die” And she thought that she must have been very bad indeed. Her mother said “You’re a naughty girl, who put those ideas in your head?” Her mother said “You’re a naughty girl, I don’t believe a single thing you’ve said” Her mother said “You’re a naughty girl, I’ll take away something you love instead” And she thought that she must have been very bad indeed. And sitting in her room, waiting for the footsteps Waiting for the hand to turn the handle on her door She wondered, as if she’d never thought of it before What is this thing called truth? Well time went on – she forgot it all. Forgot it even while it was there Time went on – she forgot it all, turned off the switch which made her care Time went on – she forgot it all, even thought it must be just and fair For after all she must have been very bad indeed. And sitting in her room, waiting for the footsteps Waiting for the hand to turn the handle on her door She wondered, as if she’d never thought of it before What is this thing called trust? Well, now she’s grown she’s a little blocked, running scared into the night Now she’s grown she’s a little blocked, each touch makes her stiff with fright Now she’s grown she’s a little blocked, holding her defences tight Because after all she must have been very bad indeed. And sitting with her boyfriend, tense against his fingers Remembering the hand that turned the handle on her door She wonders, as if she’d never thought of it before What is this thing called love? What is this thing called trust? What is this thing called truth?
8.
Tell me again of the patchwork quilt The stitching and the weaving The brickwork of the life you built The long shadows of grieving? How all the pieces of fabric there Tell of pain and pleasure And how the hardest times of all Turned into shining treasure? The only way out of the pain is through Hearts are strongest where they’re mended And in the worst times you ever knew You never once surrendered. Tell me again of the satin and silk The velvet and the chiffon The nights when moonlight gleamed like milk And stars were close to wish on The magic woven in hexagonal lines Dreams woven in the stitching Invisible mending of a peaceful mind Hidden mistakes in the fixing. The only way out of the pain is through Hearts are strongest where they’re mended And in the worst times you ever knew You never once surrendered. Tell me again of the words that tore The lies that seemed past surviving The heartbreak that seemed for ever more And dawn so slow in arriving And looking back on the patterns you made Can you tell me which parts are finest Which lasts longer, the light or shade And which you value highest? The only way out of the pain is through Hearts are strongest where they’re mended And in the worst times you ever knew You never once surrendered. Tell me again of the patchwork quilt …
9.
I remember as a child how I hated going to bed in summertime Not because the sun would shine But upon the bedroom wall shadows of the evening light would fall Form summer shapes instead of all my winter dreams. And in winter all things would change, forming shadows there so rich and strange All of dreams’ fantastic range And I’d watch the banners fly, floating red and gold in a sapphire sky From towers magical and high in Camelot. Take your mother to Disneyland and see the towers gleam Take your mother to Disneyland and see the king and queen ride out again. Watching pictures in the flames, watching kingdoms rise and fall and rise again All a child’s imagined pain And I’d walk the forest track seeing gingerbread but never turning back Following white stones I trusted that would take me home. Take your mother … A long time now it seems to me I’ve left that world of childish dreams and fantasy Left behind the apple tree And now I think I’m growing old and I’ll never eat my meals from plates of gold Never meet the magic prince who stole the kiss of love. Take your mother … But sometimes I see your face when your mother reaches some enchanted place Reading in some book, or some old film upon tv And I think it’s fair to say we all choose our own routes to slip away And I want my own chance to repay all she gave me. Take your mother …
10.
We stood at the crossroads in the moorland Looking at the road that lay ahead And the wind sang of the future still before us And the bracken sobbed the praises of the dead And if I’d truly known where we were going If I’d known the journey and its end I’d have turned around and walked the long miles homeward But you can never have your chance again. And looked at from where you are it seems easy As if the journey moved in a straight line As if each separate path on each clear pathway Was somehow some great master plan of mine And all the reasons formed some kind of pattern Ambition, greed or overwhelming pride And like a chess game of competing masters There was some kind of strategy inside. Instead it all was accidental The landscaped changed around us as we walked There were no signposts, there were no guidelines Sometimes we were the hunters, then the stalked And we were chasing shadows in the twilight And the fiercest of them all were in our mind And pulling back the curtains in the morning We never knew for certain what we’d find. But the craziest part of all this crazy story Which maybe you’ve not seen yet, but you may Is how time changes patterns and all colours From white to black and every shade of grey A hero can soon become a monster There’s nothing that turns sour so fast as fame And all the battles that were so hard of winning Have all turned to defeat now all the same. We stood at the crossroads …
11.
Late last night when the sky was velvet Late last night when the world was dark Late last night when the house was still I heard singing in the fields. I don’t know if the song had words I don’t know who the singers could be I can’t tell you of all of the sounds I heard But the whole field sang for me. Across the fields the stubble has been burning Across the fields the harvest is gathered home Across the fields you can see the seasons turn Hear the singing in the fields. And I’m sure it was voices from the past And I’m sure they were singing for changing times And I’m sure they were singing for harvest home And the season still to come. Watch the fields as the buildings crumble Watch the fields when men move away See the way the grass comes springing back Hear the singing in the fields. And you think ghosts are something to fear And you think that the past should have no power And you think we know more than grass and stones But I heard the fields in song. And I think I’ve been walking through the dark And I think that the tunnel has reached an end And I think that my heart is burned clean again And a growing time has come Late last night when the sky was velvet Late last night I felt my heart take wings Late last night I saw the sun And I heard the fields all sing.
12.
Flesh Wound 03:01
I won’t call you a single time I won’t write you a single line Might not even tell my friends we’ve met And it’s not that I don’t care at all And it’s not that what we shared was small But I know in any case I won’t forget. Sometimes when the night is dark and I need memories like this I’ll remember the flesh wound of your kiss. Some people say that love is blind Some say it comes just one dramatic time I don’t believe that either of these are true But sometimes by accident You find more sweetness than you meant And in that sweetness I think I found you. Sometimes when the night is dark … There are tears as I turn to go I’d love to stay here but we know Our lives are moving fast on separate paths It hurts a little and it stings But we’ve been brushed with angel wings And there’s a small new softness in our hearts. Sometimes when the night is dark …  
13.
Borderlands 03:52
This is the borderland, this is no man’s land This is the place you never thought you’d be This is the waiting room, this is the changing room Where nothing and everything is free. They use passport control to put you on hold Deciding if they’ll let you through All you do there is hope, give yourself enough rope If they turn you back, what will you do? This is the borderland, this is no man’s land This is the place that’s not marked on your map This is the waiting room, this is the changing room From here all the signposts are blank. And those who’ve been here before, who might know the score Never told you what to expect You should have been wise and looked in their eyes Standing here feels a bit like death. This is the borderland, this is no man’s land This is the place where they change the rules This is the waiting room, this is the changing room Where wise folk all turn into fools. Did you really think you could just waltz on through With nothing to show where you’ve been There are marks left behind on your heart and your mind To show a journey in search of a dream. This is the borderland, this is no man’s land This is the place where they check how you feel This is the waiting room, this is the changing room Where nothing and everything is real. And now you feel stuck, you’ve run out of luck The daydream seems so far away You can’t turn around, your world’s upside down And all you can do right now is stay. This is the borderland, this is no man’s land And you’ve got to get through here somehow This is the waiting room, this is the changing room And they’re handing you your documents now.
14.
Volcanoes 03:28
Volcanoes burn slow and burn deep They don’t dream and don’t sleep like pain In the centre are all the things you thought you’d slain. Volcanoes glow red and glow hard Seem to block out the stars above In the centre is a melting core of heat like love. What am I to do Every time I think I’m through with you My heart wakes And all my dreams turn back to you. My heart’s a climber with no safety rope No help except hope and fear Love’s a mountain and there’s danger always near. What am I to do … Volcanoes stand across my path There’s no way to pass but climb There’s hidden treasure beneath the lava flow of time. What am I to do …
15.
Gaia 05:14
My mother has a scarred face now My mother never seems to smile Walks each day wrapped in a cloak of cloud My mother’s name is Gaia. My mother told me of the battles fought My mother always hated fighting My mother told me of the gifts we’ve sold and bought My mother always hated money And of the battles for air and water How slowly they were fought and lost And standing here now as Gaia’s daughter I’m trying hard to work out the cost. My mother has a scarred face … My mother told me of the two world wars As if the world was made of fighting men She told me all about effect and cause And how in sorrow history turns again. But this earth has animals, plants and trees And rocks and crystals with their strength and beauty My mother told me to remember these All living creatures share a common duty. My mother has a scarred face … My mother says she thinks it very strange That just one species causes devastation And despite all we read on every page How people blame it all on different nations. The battle for our world is happening now On earth and fire and air and water And now it’s time for us to work as one All Gaia’s children, all her sons and daughters.

about

All songs written and performed by Anne Lister. This album was recorded in 1990, at Studio 9, Brixton, and released as a cassette. It was then remixed and re-mastered in 2002 at Overtones in Holborn, and is available as a CD from my website.

credits

released June 18, 2020

All tracks recorded by the wonderful Liv Elliot, who also was the mastermind behind the remixing and remastering. Musicians involved were Steafan Hannigan, Ian Kearey and Tony Etherton. As ever, I am grateful to friends - to Tony Clelford, to Al and to Angela.

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Anne Lister Wales, UK

Anne is best known for her song "Icarus", recorded and performed by a number of different singers, including Martin Simpson and Nic Jones. "Astrolabe" is her ninth solo album.

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